


A Birthmas Carol

by poisonedsoup



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Christmas, Excessive use of the word fuck, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Kinda, M/M, Mentioned Sexual Content, Minor Character Deaths, Past Prostitution, Past Violence, levi is a dick, such a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonedsoup/pseuds/poisonedsoup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi, for a long time, hasn't enjoyed the 25th of December, and manages to fuck up the one most important thing to him.<br/>To make up for it, he shall be visited by three ghosts, each telling him the importance of that special day, and the importance of family and loved ones.<br/>You could also say "Levi's a Dick to Eren on Christmas Eve" is the alternate title.<br/>Inspired by Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Birthmas Carol

**Author's Note:**

> (How do you summary? I don't know.)  
> Okay, so after reading A Christmas Carol, I was inspired to do this piece of trash. This is my very first fic, so I'm sorry if it's a little rough around the edges, I'm still getting the hang of it.  
> This is also unbeta'd, so if anybody would like to point something out, feel free!  
> Enjoy (preferably with hot cocoa and warm fire...?)! Merry Christmas everyone!

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Grumpy!” Levi heard Hange cackle from the opposite side of the restaurant. They wore a shit-eating grin, one that stretched wide enough that Levi saw their back molars.  


“Fuck off, shitty glasses,” Levi returned as he shrugged on his coat with a huff. Work today had been long and tiring. Couples had come in constantly, Christmas Eve being one of the most popular nights for eating out with your loved one. Levi could hardly keep up with the orders. His back ached from standing on his feet, cooking all day.  


“And a happy birthday!” Hange yelled out after him as exited into the night.  


Levi sighed into the cold air that bit at his face and fingers. Winter had come upon them this year with a force: one day it was perfectly clear and sunny, and the next? Cold as a witch’s tit and snow everywhere, falling lazily from the sky and glistening upon the ground.  


Levi hated it.  


He trudged to his car, unstuck the frozen door from the frame, and drove home, his mood thoroughly ruined.  


Not that he was in a good mood in the first place. Levi hated Christmas and everything that happened to come with it. He could never understand why people were so happy this time of the year. It was cold, there was drippy, wet, freezing snow everywhere that tracked mud into the house constantly, and the roads were icy enough that you could jackknife right in the middle of bumper to bumper traffic. Christmas was shit.  


When Levi got home, he wasn’t expecting the door to his own apartment to fly open, nor did he expect to be dragged inside and have his face covered in kisses.  


“Levi!” Eren exclaimed before embracing his lover in a warm, tender kiss. Levi kissed him back, however unenthusiastically. Eren ended the kiss and leaned his forehead against Levi’s, a smile on his face. “Happy Birthmas Eve,” he breathed happily.  


Levi practically growled and shoved Eren away from him. A downcast look appeared on his face. “Levi…?”  


“Why the fuck is everybody so happy about Christmas?” he blurted, loud enough that Eren took a step away from him, a confused frown on his face. Behind Eren, Levi saw, was a small, fake Christmas tree, already lit with lights, a small box of decorations sitting beside it. This just made Levi’s horrible mood even worse.  


That was the first time Christmas (and Levi’s birthday) had actually come up—besides once, two weeks before, when Levi caught Eren trying to put out Christmas decorations. 

Levi had snapped at him to put it away, then refused to even discuss the subject of Christmas, to much of Eren’s protests.  


“Well…” Eren began, thinking of ways to explain Christmas cheer while Levi shed his coat and walked into the bedroom. “It’s a time that you get to spend with your family and loved ones and get to show them how much you love them? I think that’s why everybody enjoys it: they get to spend time with people.”  


“Well I don’t like people,” Levi retorted, pulling a pair of pajama bottoms from his drawers. “Why would I want to spend time with people if I don’t like them?”  


“You get to spend time with your family, Levi,” Eren said, exasperated.  


“I don’t have a family.” His quick response left Eren motionless. He didn’t even realize his blunder, so he just continued to get ready for bed, not sparing even a glance towards Eren.  


“I thought I was your family,” Eren said quietly. Inwardly, Levi cursed when he heard this, finally realizing the mistake he had made. He turned around quickly, expecting to go to Eren and embrace him before apologizing, but he wasn’t behind him. Levi heard the hallway closet’s creaky hinge swing open, and he rushed over to find Eren halfway out the door.  


“Wait, where are you going?”  


“My sister’s,” Eren replied shortly before he slammed the door behind him and drove off.  


“Fuck,” Levi had said once he was gone.  


Levi collapsed onto the couch and rubbed at his temples. Who would have known that dating college brats would be so hard?  


Without having realized it, Levi fell into a deep slumber, fully dressed on the couch.

**************************************************************  


Levi woke to the sound of a knock at the door. He groggily pushed himself up off of the couch, grumbling about bratty kids locking themselves out of the house in a fit. He opened the door, and as soon as he saw who was outside, he slammed it shut again and shuffled toward his bedroom. He pushed back the door to the bedroom, and there he was, stood in his full glory.  


Erwin Smith.  


“Erwin, how the fuck did you get into my apartment?” Levi asked, glaring up at the man. Erwin, bright, yet serious as ever, looked down at Levi, a slight frown on his face (which was admittedly handsome).  


“You let me in.”  


“The fuck I did not.”  


“Yes, you did. You opened the door.”  


“Yeah, and I slammed it right back into your fucking face.”  


“Once you open a door to somebody, they are always welcome in.” Levi shot a deadly look at Erwin before he glanced at the clock. Five minutes until midnight.  


“Then why the fuck are you here so late?”  


“To warn you of what’s about to occur. Something that will change your life forever.” Levi rolled his eyes at this.  


“Okay, yeah, sure, are you drunk? I don’t have the patience for you goddamned riddles.”  


“I cannot be drunk in this state.”  


“Yeah, you’re definitely dru—“  


“You shall be visited by three ghosts,” Erwin interrupted him, mid-sentence. Levi looked at him, incredulous.  


“What?”  


“When it turns midnight, the first ghost shall visit. At one, the second, and at two, the third. Be prepared.” As soon as he had finished his last word, Erwin vanished into thin air.  


At this point, Levi wasn’t all too certain that he himself wasn’t the one who was drunk. He glanced around the apartment quickly, looking for Erwin, but he had truly vanished.  


A faint beep sounded from Levi’s wristwatch, informing him that midnight had struck. He looked down at his wrist, assuring the time, and when he looked back up, a person was standing directly in front of him again.  


“…Armin?” Levi was fairly certain that the boy that stood in front of him was Eren’s friend, Armin. Instead of his usual attire of a sweater and jeans, though, he wore a long, white gown, to which the sleeves extended past his fingertips and the hem pooled around his bare feet on the floor. Clutched in his right hand was a twig of holly and in the left, a brown, worn hat, seemingly made from leather.  


The most notable thing, though, was his hair. His normally bright gold locks were literally shining, illuminating the whole room. It hurt to look at directly.  


“I am not Armin, though I know of this boy. I am the ghost of Christmas past, and, well, Birthday’s Past.” His voice sounded as though he were speaking from far away, and everything was rushing forward to have Levi hear it. At this, Levi rolled his eyes again, sure that this was some prank.  


“Alright, well for one thing, ghosts don’t exist, and for another, you’re fucking Armin.”  
Armin just looked at Levi, a slight smile on his face. “Come with me, Levi. You need to see something.”  


“I’m not going anywhere, but you, you’re going to get the fuck out of my house. I don’t care if you’re Eren’s friend.” Levi walked towards the door and grasped the doorknob. 

He opened it with some resistance, as if someone was on the other side, trying to pull it shut.  


Instead of the door opening to the plain, dimly lit hallway of Levi’s apartment building, it opened into a small, dark bedroom. One that Levi knew all too well.  


The door opened to Levi’s childhood bedroom.  


Levi tried to close the door and turn around, back away into the safety of his apartment, but his apartment wasn’t there anymore. Just the hallway of his old home.  


Accepting the fact that he was majorly tripping, Levi entered the bedroom, observing the silent figure sleeping on the bed. His chest rose and fall with even, steady breaths and his hair fell into his eyes in soft waves.  


Behind him, the door opened, and the light turned on. A plump woman with a small, smiling mouth and twinkling eyes entered the room quickly and without noise, trying not to wake the boy on the bed. In a swift movement, though, she jumped on the bed, immediately startling the child under the covers.  


“Reveilles-toi,” she said to him, laughing at his sleepy expression. “C'est le jour de Noël! Et ton anniversaire aussi! ”  


At this, the boy snapped his eyes open and jumped up. He tried to escape from underneath his mother, but she held him down and started tickling at his stomach and armpits. “Mere!” he laughed. “Mere, stop! ”  


Finally, she let him up, and he had to sit on his bed to gain his breath back. Levi watched the whole encounter, a small smile on his face. He watched as the two spent their Christmas together, opening presents, singing songs and eating sweets. He watched as the boy’s face lit up with a smile when his mother presented him with a gift that was wrapped in plain blue paper instead of the Christmas paper designated to the holiday, obviously a birthday present.  


“She was the only one who had ever gotten me presents for my birthday and Christmas,” Levi said sadly, quietly.  


But soon after, the scene changed from the merry one that was before them into a melancholy picture. Instead of the laughing along-side his mother, we see the boy crying, his mother lying on the floor before him.  


“Mere!” he cried. “Mere!” But he wasn’t calling for her to wake up. He was calling out of grief.  


His mother was dead.  


Levi’s expression became bitter. “Why am I seeing this?” he muttered.  


“This is your past,” replies Armin. “What a bitter past indeed.”  


“You don’t fucking have to tell me.”  


Armin doesn’t answer to this, and the scene fast forwards. The child grows up, lonely, on the streets. Year after year, we see a young Levi scavenging for food, running from the police and getting into fights. Both Christmas and his birthday, year after year for Levi, were nothing but another day of survival.  


It wasn’t until a Christmas day when Levi seemed to be in his early twenties when two people are standing beside him, grinning happily and joking with each other. They all seem happy, excited to be together. Except for Levi, of course: he was just as uninterested in the day as every other year. But still, you could tell that he was happier this year than he had been in a long, long time.  


Armin looked at Levi out of the corner of his eye as he heard him suck in a ragged breath.  


Two years after Levi’s two happy friends appeared, they disappeared just as suddenly. Then Levi was alone and running, quick and agile, to escape his pursuers.  


The Birthday after this, his life was completely different. He was in the same restaurant that he worked in now, Hanji and Mike working beside him, Erwin entering the room with a hearty laugh. Each Christmas after this was the same thing.  


“Can you stop?” Levi asked Armin gruffly. Immediately, the past of Levi transformed into something else, the past of another person.  


A boy with brown hair and bright green eyes jumped up and down on a lumpy figure on a bed, shouting, “Mom, it’s Christmas, wake up! Wake up!” Levi couldn’t help but laugh at the adorable sight before him. The boy jumped off of his mother’s bed and ran back into the living room, where a tall Christmas tree stood proudly, covered in lights and decorations. Underneath the tree were several small, wrapped presents.  


Eren waited impatiently for his mother’s entrance into the living room, bouncing in place as she made herself coffee and sat down on the couch before him, a small smile gracing her lips.  


“Mom, this one’s for you!” Eren said, holding up a present wrapped haphazardly in red paper. Eren’s mother laughed and set down her coffee, carefully unwrapping the gift and lifting the lid from the exposed box. Levi peeked over her shoulder, curious.  


Inside of the box was a gold necklace, a large key hanging from it. Eren’s mother gave her son a warm smile, lifting the jewelry from the box.  


“I don’t really know what it opens,” Eren jabbered, “but Dad gave it to me and said it was important. It’s really pretty, though, so I thought you’d like it more than me.”  


“It’s beautiful, Eren, thank you.” She lifted the necklace and pulled it over her head, careful of the chain. It hung from her neck, accenting her collarbones very nicely. Eren then proceeded to open his own presents, and by this time, the memories of this Christmas were speeding up.  


The next Christmas pictured had three people in the family instead of just two: Eren’s father was there this year as well. And hanging from around Carla’s (Levi learned her name this Christmas) was Eren’s key.  


The Christmas after that, yet another person was added to the family portrait: Eren’s adoptive sister, Mikasa. She sat quietly next to Eren, close enough to practically be sitting on his lap. She wore a red scarf that partially covered her face, probably to hide her emotions.  


The year after that, Grisha, Eren’s father, was not there. He was gone. And the key still hung from Carla’s neck. And Mikasa still had her scarf.  


The next year was the same. And the year after that. And the year after that. And each year, Grisha was gone. Eren had his happy, wide smile. Mikasa had her red scarf. Carla had her bronze key.  


The year after that, however, took a drastic turn. Instead of three people, sitting around a Christmas tree, we saw two, sitting on the pavement of a dank alleyway in the cold, winter air. Eren and Mikasa left alone and orphaned on Christmas day. Levi frowned at the unhappy sight.  


In Eren’s hand was a key. Carla’s key. Tears streamed down his face and froze there, the frosty air cold enough to give them both frostbite and freeze their greasy hair into stiff waves.  


Mikasa unwrapped the red scarf from around her neck and wrapped it around both her and Eren, who sobbed into her shoulder without abandon. This year, there were no smiles given at Christmas. Instead, Eren’s eyes held both the sorrow of mourning and the fire of vengeance.  


The next year wasn't much better. Though they weren't outside, they were still left to the mercy of the cold winter. Packed together with four other children in a shack, Eren and Mikasa huddled together. The fire and sorrow that were in Eren’s eyes last year are gone this year, leaving them empty, hollow. He stares at the fire, not seeing. His hands clasp the key hanging around his neck.  


A child approaches the two of them and hands them hot soup. He has golden hair and a short stature: Armin. Tucked under his arm is the same hat which the “ghost Armin” has in his hand. He gave them sad smiles and sat with them, the three of them sharing body heat.  


The year after was a bit better: instead of a run-down shack, they lived in a shelter, packed room to room with kids and adults without homes. Eren sat on a cot with his sister, his eyes still lifeless, his hands still wrapped around his key. The scarf still wrapped around Mikasa’s neck.  


The next year, while it had better living conditions, might have been the worst year of all for Levi to bear witness to: Eren was getting dressed, buttoning up a shirt and pulling on pants as a man lied in the bed, counting out money. He handed one stack of bills to Eren, who accepted it, put on his shoes, and left for home. Levi sucked in a deep breath that hurt his chest as he understood how far Eren was willing to go to provide for Armin, Mikasa and himself.  


“Home” was a brothel in which he, Mikasa and Armin lived, though it appeared that Eren was the only one…working. Outside, he—calmly, but still with the emotionless eyes—watched snow fall to the ground slowly as he lit up a cigarette and took a drag. He ran one shaking hand through his hair, letting it fall to the key that hung around his neck. 

Through a window down the street, he saw a Christmas tree lit up, and from the look that appeared on his face, you know he was thinking of his real home.  


Fast forward to the next Christmas, when Eren is sixteen. Levi expected his stomach to drop, to be even more sorrowful for his lover’s past experiences, but Eren’s life took a pleasant turn. Levi saw him in a plainly dressed bedroom, just a bed, a dresser, and a desk full of books. He seemed to be writing something in the book labeled “English” before he snapped it shut and set it off to the side. He picked up a phone off of the dresser and called Mikasa, wishing her a Merry Christmas and a good night before falling onto his bed, the key clutched in his hand.  


Emotion seems to have returned to his beautiful eyes.  


The next year is the same, with Eren—seemingly in a dorm room of some sort—wishing Mikasa a Merry Christmas over the phone and going to sleep, but this year he seems even happier than the last.  


The final year Levi bore witness to is the Eren that Levi knew—the talented artist who worked part-time and lived in a shitty apartment in the bad side of town. But he was happy again. And his key, ever-present, shined, as if reflecting his happy mood.  


“So now you understand,” Armin said quietly.  
Levi nodded his head. Now he understood why Eren always skirted around the topics of both his past and his parents. To be quite honest, Levi didn’t know much about Eren’s past. He knew nothing beyond the school that he was able to get himself into—one that helped unfortunate kids—and that his mother died when he was young. Now he understood why his younger lover tended to wake up to nightmares. Horrible, awful nightmares through which Eren screams and screams but can’t be woken up. Now he understood why, on some days, Eren would just stay in bed all day, refusing help from anyone, and on others was happy or extremely hot-tempered. Now he understood why Eren painted such beautiful, deep, terrible paintings—to vent for what a terrible life he’s had. Now Levi understood why, sometimes, Eren didn't want to have sex at all, just wanted to be held and cuddled and have a movie day with chaste kisses and warm spooning. Now Levi understood why Eren is Eren. And Levi loved him even more for that.  
Levi looked to Eren, past Eren, who was listening to Christmas carols on his radio in his small, cheap apartment. He looked happy. Content. He worried his fingers on the key around his neck and let out a sigh before turning off the lights and retiring to bed.  


Armin suddenly stepped in front of Levi and pushed him backwards. Levi felt himself stumbling over his feet and falling towards the ground, when his back comes in contact with the soft leather of his couch. “Oi, what was that for, shitty brat?”  


“For being a dick.” Levi almost did a double-take. This really wasn't Armin; Armin never swore.  
Levi squinted at the Armin-ghost and couldn't make out his face, for the light atop his head grew brighter every second. “Could you possibly put that hat on so that we can talk without you blinding me?”  


He stiffened, then held the hat reverently in front of him with both hands. “I can’t. This was my grandfather’s hat.” His voice held strong emotion. “It doesn't matter anyways, for I shall be gone soon.”  


Levi couldn't even get the words “How soon?” out before Ghost-Armin was gone with a bright flash of light. In the same instance, his watch told him one am had come. Levi expected the next ghost to appear just as on-time and suddenly as the last did, but no such thing happened.  


“Fuck this, I’m making myself a drink while I wait.” Levi entered the kitchen, poured himself a scotch and soda (with admittedly much more scotch than soda) and waited for the next “ghost”, thinking about what he had just witnessed. What he had just learned. And why he was such a dick all of the time  


This would have been Eren’s first real Christmas since his mom died—the first year for a tree, a fire, and a warm place that he could actually decorate and call home. He wanted to spend the first Christmas since his mother died, not with Armin or Mikasa, but with Levi, whom he considered his family.  


And Levi shot him down and crushed some of his most deep and warranted desires.  
That didn't change the fact that Levi hated Christmas—it was a time of “jolly cheer” for everybody but him. And, looking back on his past, he understood why he hated Christmas (on’t even get him started on his birthday). And he understood that it would take a lot to make that fact change.  


Levi pondered this, his drink almost gone, when the next spirit appeared. Not with a flash of light or anything, they just appeared.  


Fully naked.  


Hange, fully naked, stood in Levi’s living room, looking down on him.  


“Jesus fucking Christ Hange, get some fucking clothes on!” Levi glowered at them, only for them to cackle loudly and approach him.  


“Levi, you’ve been a naughty boy.”  


“Hange, don’t say shit like that when both your tits and your dick both happen to be out. You know what, just don’t fucking say it at all, you shitstain.” Hange grinned proudly at this. “You know, I should have figured that it would have been you. You’re always late.”  


Standing up, Levi went to the bedroom, pulled a bathrobe out of the closet, and threw it at Hange. “Put that on, if you will.”  


All this time, Hange had their hands on their hips, watching Levi with an assessing look. “Yeah, I know. I look like your friend Hange when I’m in front of you.” Despite all of the cackling that matched Hange to a T, this deep, manly voice didn’t belong to them. “I always appear to a new person differently.”  


“And fully naked?”  


“Not always.” They laughed loudly at this, a robust, belly-jiggling laugh that Hange would never, EVER have been able to make.  


“And…who are you?” Levi asked in apprehension.  


“I am the ghost of Christmas Present. And Birthday present, for you. And not like, Christmas presents that you give, as in Christmas now.”  


“Yeah, I understood without the clarification.”  


“Good, you have no idea how many people think I mean Christmas presents.”  


Levi quirked a lip at this, imagining the doofuses and their excitement for Christmas presents. “So where are you taking me to, hmm?” he asked, raising his glass to his lips.  


Hange stood tall, pushing their chest out in pride. “Grab my robe.”  


“I think you mean my robe, shitty glasses.”  


“Fuck you, just grab the robe.” Levi grabbed the robe and was immediately consumed with the feeling of being sucked into a vortex, only for it to be gone before he could feel any real discomfort.  


Levi was about to make a snarky comment to the Hange ghost before he realized that Hange was sitting right in front of him, with Erwin, Mike and Petra. Erwin had his arm around Mike’s shoulder, hugging him close, while Petra and Hange sat together on the couch, laughing about something or another.  


“So what do you think Levi’s doing for Christmas? Now that he has Eren, I mean.”  


Hange grinned manically. “Why, they’re fucking of course!” They cackled loudly while Petra blushed a deep red.  


“Who knows,” Erwin said, all seriousness in his voice. “He’s always hated Christmas, for as long as we’ve known him. He’s probably not doing anything, not even celebrating his birthday. “  


“Typical Levi,” Petra sighed. “I wouldn’t put it past him to completely ignore Christmas. But Eren seems to like Christmas, he always seems so excited about it when it comes up during his visits.” This made Levi wince. He hadn’t allowed Eren to even speak of Christmas with him.  


Hange—the ghost Hange—laid their hand on his shoulder. “Aren’t you a shrimp-dick?” They cackled at their own joke as he threw their hand off of his shoulder, cursing at them under his breath.  


After a short while of them talking with one another, the scene changed. Levi was in an unfamiliar room of an unfamiliar apartment. But he would recognize the person lying on the couch anywhere.  


“Eren,” Levi breathed out unintentionally. He saw that Eren’s eyes were puffy and rimmed with red, the tracks from the tears still visible on his soft skin.  


Levi’s heart tugged him forward to the direction of Eren. But when he tried to put his hand on his head, it ghosted right through.  


“You can’t touch anything,” Hange said from behind him. “And people can’t hear us either. We’re on a different plane of existence right now.”  


Levi just nodded and watched as Mikasa emerged from the kitchen, two mugs in her hands. She wore a tired, yet angry look on her face.  


“I’ll fucking kill that shrimp dick.” Hange laughed.  


“No, Mikasa. I just overreacted. He’s okay. He’s a good person.” Eren’s feeble attempts at defending Levi, Eren blaming himself. It just made Levi want to hold him.  


“Eren, you’re crying on my couch. That’s not your fault.”  


Eren didn’t respond, just sat up straight to accept his hot chocolate. He shot a look over to the clock on the stove and smiled at Mikasa. “Merry Christmas, Mikasa.”  


Mikasa wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and brought it up over her face to hide her smile. A single tear works its way down her cheek and the two siblings embraced each other in a hug.  


“This is the first time in a long time I’ve been able to say that and mean it,” Eren whispered, his voice catching. ”It’s just… he makes me so happy Mikasa. He’s kind and funny, and he doesn’t treat me like shit.” The tears started to flow again. “I love him so much.” He pulled away from her and worried his fingers at the key hanging around his neck.  


“He’s an ass.”  


“Yes, and he has a great ass.” They both laughed at this and stared at the Christmas tree in the corner. “I’m going to drive home in the morning. Spend part of my Christmas with Levi.”  


“Okay,” Mikasa answered, and leaves it there, ending their conversation easily. Levi watched the two with sad eyes and a heavy heart until they both fell asleep, with Eren’s head in Mikasa’s lap.  


Levi turned to Hange. “Take me home.”  


They just nodded, and the scene faded back into the dark of Levi’s living room. Looking at his watch, Levi saw that he only had two minutes before the third and final (Levi couldn’t help but internally thank Jesus for that) ghost arrived. He turned to Hange to tell them to get out of here before he noticed something on their leg.  


“Hange. What that hell is that?” he pointed to the two black, slimy things there.  


“Oh, those are leeches! This one is Sawney,” they pointed out the leech closest to the ground, “and this one’s Bean!” An excited look overtakes their features, and Levi could practically hear the real Hange’s voice when the ghost-Hange explained: “I’m doing an experiment to see if my blood affects the leeches in any way, since I don’t have human blood, I have ichor, and we all know that can be dangerous to some species, including humans and octopi—“  


“Okay, bye,” Levi interrupted, and they were gone in a flash of light. Levi collapsed onto his couch, mutterings of, “shitty glasses” and “they took my fucking robe” leaving his mouth in a string of strong cuss words.  


Tilting his head back, Levi closed his eyes, waiting for the next spirit to show themselves. He thought about what ghost-Hange said, how he’s a shrimp dick.  


“I am a bit of an asshole, aren’t I?” he said to himself aloud.  


“No, you aren’t an asshole Levi. Rather bad-mannered, yes, but not an asshole.”  


Levi didn’t even need to open his eyes. He knew that voice belonged to Petra. “Are you the incarnation of the next spirit to plague me, Petra?”  


“The form of Petra seems to be the form I have taken for you, yes. I am the Ghost of Christmas and Birthdays Yet-To-Be.”  


Levi looked at Petra. Her auburn hair was tucked back into the hood of a large black cloak that draped over her entire body, hiding everything but her face from view. The shadow she cast on the ground, though, was not the same as the form she had taken. Instead, it was extremely tall, with slender arms and fingers that poked out of the cloak slightly.  


“So you’re here to take me off and then you three will leave me alone forever?” Petra nodded her head gravely, a dark look overcoming her face.  


“Know this, before we begin your final journey, that these shadows of the future are not certain. The future can be changed by the actions of those in the present. These depictions will come to be if nothing has been done to prevent them and nothing changes over the course of time. But you must also know that some things in the future are certain, and nothing, not a single detail, can be made to change them. Do you understand?”  


Levi nodded his head, and Petra reached out to him and lightly placed the tip of her pointer finger in the middle of his chest. “Let us be off then.”  
The scene around Levi warped and soon he was standing in the same apartment that he was with ghost-Hange—Mikasa’s . She was sitting in front of her Christmas tree, tears tracking down her face as she stares—with love—at a picture of Eren and his mother. Her scarf is wrapped around her neck, tight enough that it looks as though it is strangling her.  


From behind her came a girl, with a strong nose and blond hair. She sat next to Mikasa and pulled her into her arms, triggering the sobs that wrack Mikasa’s body.  


Again, the scene changed, but now we see Armin, a much older Armin, sitting alone on a beach. He grasped a photo of Eren as well, but a photo of Eren that is much more like the Eren Levi knew today. He smiled at it and looked out over the horizon. “We’re here, Eren. The ocean is here. And it’s more beautiful than you could ever imagine.”  


The blurry, swirling figures entreat on Levi’s vision again, but this time, he saw himself. He doesn’t look any older (but that’s not saying much; he’s looked the same since he was seventeen), but seemed more sorrowful and spiteful than he had been in a long, long time. Looking down, Levi saw that his future self is in front of a grave, one with lots of pictures, flowers, candles and gifts next to it.  


Future-Levi swept the snow off of the grave stone, and what read across it shocked the present-Levi into a loud gasp. It read:  


EREN JAEGER  
March 30th, 1995—December 25th, 2014  
Beloved son, brother, and boyfriend  


Levi stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet. He fell onto the ground, but his surroundings have become black. Looking around, he couldn’t even see the spirit-Petra, or his hands in front of his face. Pitch black darkness.  


“Petra, how? How does he die today?” Levi’s voice cracked on the word “die”.  


“I see a car swerving on ice in the early hours of morning.” Her voice boomed around him, surrounding his body with the vibrations of her voice. “I see a head-on collision with another moving vehicle, and an airbag that never deployed. I see a worn brass key clutched in the bleeding hand of a dying boy and a smile on his lips as he remembers who he may be able to see beyond death.”  


“No, no stop. Stop it!” Levi shouted and pulled on his hair, trying to tear himself out of this nightmare.  


“I see him looking at the screen of his phone and seeing a picture of his lover, and I see him dying with that face etched forever into his memory.” Levi put his hands over his ears so as not to hear her, but it’s as if the voice was coming from within his own head. “I see an ambulance that is too late to respond and a crying girl with black hair and a red scarf refusing to believe that her brother could be gone.”  


“I said STOP!”  


“And I see you, human, Levi. I see you as you rush to the scene, which is only a block away from your home. I see the tears on your face and the agony in your voice as you call out his name but don’t get a response. I hear your heart breaking as you tell him that you love him and will never hear it back from this boy, Eren.”  


“Please, please STOP.” A sob ripped through Levi’s chest. He felt the heartbreak, felt every emotion and nerve that she described rising like a wave in his chest, pooling in his stomach like vomit.  


“If your actions do not change, Eren will die.”  


“Then I’ll fix it, I already felt terrible!” he cried out. “I can stop this from happening, just let me go and give me the chance!”  


All at once, the blackness turned to pure white. Petra approached him, nodded, and vanished.  


******************************************************  


Levi jolted awake on the couch. Looking around him, he saw that he fell asleep without prior noticed. He stretched and, remembering his dream, froze mid-yawn.  


Quickly, he checked the clock. “Seven-thirty!” he exclaimed, remembering the ghost Petra’s words. “Shit!”  


He shoved on a pair of shoes and slid into his jacket, grabbing his keys off of the counter and running out the door.  


He drove as quickly as he could get away with to Mikasa’s place, being wary of the thin sheet of ice that covered the road. Every bump and slight shift had him shivering with anxiety (and cold, he never warmed up the car). As soon as he was within range of the front door, Levi pulled on his emergency break and flew out of the car, only to run headfirst into Eren at the door and send them both sprawling.  


“Oomph! Wha—Levi?” Eren’s face had a confused look. “What are you doing here?”  


“I…I came to get you. And apologize.” Eren’s face softened.  


“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”  


“Yes, I do. I was an asshole.” Levi helped Eren to his feet, then pulled him into a tight hug. “And I would love to spend Christmas—and my birthday—with you, Eren.”  


Eren pulled away from Levi, a blush coating his face. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to Levi. I’m sorry, I just really wa—“  


His unnecessary apologies were interrupted with a kiss from Levi. Sighing into it, Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist and practically melted.  


It wasn’t until Levi needed air that he broke the kiss, breathing heavily. He leaned his forehead against Eren’s, his breath puffing over his lips. “Don’t ever apologize for wanting to spend Christmas with people that you love. Don’t ever apologize for being you, Eren. Just don’t do it.”  


“I love you, Levi.”  


“I love you too, you brat.” Eren grinned.  


“Happy Birthmas.” This time, it was Levi who grinned.  


“Let’s go open presents and drink hot chocolate in our PJ’s.”  


And so, Levi and Eren went home together, in a festive, happy spirit. Eren gave Levi two presents, wrapped in different colored paper. Levi gave Eren the best blowjob and shower sex that he’d probably ever receive in his lifetime. And they both lived happily ever after, with lots of frickle frack.  


THE END

**Author's Note:**

> The french roughly translates to "Wake Up! It's Christmas Day! And your birthday, too!"  
> A big thank you to user Alarya for helping me with the French in the middle! I had originally used Google translate //hides in shame// but she helped me fix the atrocity into what it is now, though I'll be sure to stick to German should I need to write parts of a different language into a fic....  
> Thank you for reading, and the kudos (wow, 22 kudos already? I wasn't expecting that!) and a Happy New Year to everyone!


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